Lately I’ve been feeling a little bit confused over my BIG life decisions coming my way. For the last 7 years, I’ve been confined only to the walls of UPCM and PGH just living my life determined ONLY by a very small box I ticked when I filled up my UPCAT application form last August 2002. I think the last MAJOR MAJOR decision that I made that made me a more specific person in society was to pursue the interview for Intarmed. I told myself then that if I didn’t make it, then medicine is not for me. But I did. And out of pure jest, I accepted my life and just went with the flow for the past 7 years…
Now that it’s all over, I’m at another MAJOR MAJOR crossroad. Last week I passed an application form for Surgery residency in PGH. How I made my decision is a another story on its own. On one hand, I amused myself with going into Pediatrics — the easier way since my mom is a Pediatrician. On the other, of course, I wanted to pursue a career I’ve been dreaming of since I first laid my eyes on FHM our first lecture in surgery.
Pediatrics was my actually first love, and when I entered medicine in 2005, that was my goal. Eventually, the crying kids and disrespectful mothers caught up with me, and soon I found myself liking surgery more and more.
Training in surgery is great, and the lifestyle of a surgeon fits my personality more. I really want to become a surgeon, but it’s the long, arduous, and hardcore training years is what I’m reluctant to go through. Practice wise, I’m definitely going to have a DIFFICULT time establishing my own practice. Definitely NOT the easier path.
Until that day in PGH when I finally filled up my application form, I prayed and heard a voice in my head to tick “[ ] Surgery”. The hesitation was definitely there. Up until recently, especially that the entrance exam is about to take place in 2 days, my head is still in a blur. Am I ready to make THIS decision? A decision that I should NEVER EVER regret for the rest of my life? Is this what I really want? Will I be happy?
I think I am happy. I should be. 🙂